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15 Years. 6 hours. Lots of heartbreak.
Hello Reddit community. Fair warning, this is a very long one. I (33m) met my ex (34f) 16 years ago when I was in high school. Over the internet back in the day when people enjoyed Yahoo Games. We met over the chat in there lol. I am from around Brantford, Ontario, Canada. She was from around Pembroke, Ontario, Canada. I will not bother with going into the long details of our relationship but will say that it is obviously a very long history but it has always been pretty roller coaster like. I will also say that I have a whole host of my own mental issues, like Anger, control, jealousy etc probably stemming from a pretty rough childhood i have had (i am currently in counseling after many years of not doing it). We have 2 children. A 9 year old daughter and a 2 year old daughter. At the time of the beginning of this incident, we were not together and she was living with our daughters and her sister in an apartment about 5 minutes away from me. Around August of 2019, one of the two of them received a phonecall from their father and he revealed that he had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. The two of them and our daughters immediately drove up to Pembroke to spend a week with him. His wife (their stepmom) is a real estate agent in the area. When they returned, the two of them had decided that they wanted to move to Pembroke to help their father. When she told me this, as you would expect, I was not pleased. We got into some huge arguments. While I could understand wanting to help with their father, I was extremely upset about our children being taken away. I calmed down a bit eventually. During this time, they had been talking to their step mother and their step mother found out that renting apartments and renting houses is just as expensive, if not moreso than actually paying the mortgage on your own house. So now they get ideas about owning a house there. Found a house for like 108k. They decide to go to a bank to see about going together on a mortgage. Turns out the sister is so bad with her finances and debt she owes that they decline them. I feel like at this point I should add in that although we may not have been together at that point (and throughout various other points of our history), the love I have for her (and obviously our daughters) has always been very strong. The 3 of them mean the world to me. My ex eventually comes to me. Asks me to go in with her on this mortgage because she knows I have a stable career and good income (im a dealer at the casino here in Brantford for the last 11 years). So her sister is irrelevant in the matter as it would be just hers and my house. Obviously I was not pleased. I talked this over with a few friends and my mom (who is my rock). They thought it was an insane thing to allow. I felt like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place with this decision.
I do this and co sign a mortgage with her. I would be doing this to help her and her sister out and I mean....frankly it would make me feel good to help them be with their family in a sense. But this also means our children and her move 5.5 hours away from me.
I dont allow this and my ex resents me for the rest of my life and it makes any interactions we have in the future horrible and she also would probably financially make it much hard on me (going after more for child support, which at the time I believe I was paying 400 Canadian for our two girls).
I feel like I should also note that we have never been to court for anything. We have no custody agreement, they kind of just....live with her. When they were here in Brantford they were living with her and her sister and I would just come by and visit the three of them whenever I wanted or bring the girls to sleep at my place if I wanted. We've never had child support agreements either, beyond verbal. Anyways...I eventually went through the bank checking on me process and decided to sign for this. From MINUTE ONE when she first told me about all of this, she said to me over and over again that this is just temporary. This is what made it easier on me. Because I knew that we could just grin and bare the distance for about a year to a year and a third. Her father was given 1 year to live btw. So eventually they move on October 18th, 2019. From then until a few months ago I had been going up every other weekend from work to stay with the 3 of them. I went up with them at the beginning as I had a lot of paperwork to sign. I should note that we are BOTH co-owners of this property. 50% each. Same with the mortgage. BUT.....I have never invested a dime in this house. She borrowed a loan from her mother (my ex has never had much money at all) for the down payment of the house. She pays the mortgage and bills on the house. When they were living in Brantford, she worked as a sale associate at a Winners store. When they moved to Pembroke, it was actually a good transition for her as she basically just transferred to the Winners in Pembroke. She eventually got a promotion to a supervisor there making a bit more money. To which she eventually, in October 2020, quit her job. I told her multiple times before she did this that it was a very very bad idea. But she didn't care. Said she just wanted to spend more time with our girls and she didn't get to while working, which is a ridiculous thing to say, because what parent wouldn't want to spend more time with their children. We work to provide a life for them. Around January of 2020, her sister, who has always made rash decisions in her life....decided that she was going to move to Oshawa with some guys shes known for a few years (oshawa is like 4 hours away from Pembroke, 2 hours away from me in Brantford). By doing this....she kinda of double screwed my ex. One way, obviously, was that she was no longer going to be chipping in on bills. The other was that during this entire time that they lived in Pembroke, she didn't have a job (still doesn't, but irrelevant), so she was a free babysitter for my ex to watch over our children. This put my ex in a very uncomfortable position. The two of them really fought over this. When her sister moved out, various friends and family members would chip in a few hours here and there watching our girls, but nobody was consistent. Shes never had a reliable support system. This continued until about the beginning of July 2020. Her sister arrived back at the house in Pembroke one day and discovered that my ex had left our 9 year old to watch our 2 year old for 8 hours a day while she was at work. This had shockingly been going on for 2 weeks. My ex had told me that her father and stepmother would be watching our daughters while she worked, obviously lied to me. So her sister lost her mind when she got there, called Childrens Aid Society and reported it. Waited until my ex got back from work and they got into a huge blow up. The sister left back for Oshawa. My ex called me that same night and told me all of this. I immediately told her that I would come there tonight and take our girls back to my place to help out for an indefinite amount of time. I left at 1030 that night and drove through the night except for a power nap and got there at like 8am. My daughters and I left later that night to come back to Brantford. They stayed with me for a month and a half from the beginning of July to lateish August. We had an absolute blast together. During this time, my ex was in a very dark place. She was very depressed about me "taking our girls away", as insulting as that is. She was also dealing with health issues at the time which eventually required emergency gall bladder removal. She was sidelined from work for about 2 weeks, sleeping like 18 hours a day. During this time, she apparently decided that she wants a lot more tattoos. So she was talking to a girlfriend from work about this and her friend told her that she should get in contact with her cousin or something. A guy who would give her tattoos for free or at least very cheap. Obviously everyone knows that the words free and tattoos never go well together. So they started hanging out and she started paying this person in Tom Hortons and pizza slices for tattoos. For real. Obviously I havent huge divulged in my own mental issues, but if you knew me.....you would know this does not sit well with me. I started being very accusatory and jealous. Saying to her over and over "oh, this is your new bf then eh?" Constantly she would say over and over again, "OP, stop being such an idiot. Hes just a friend. We've met each other at very dark times in each other's lives and we enjoy our time together." Eventually I brought the girls back to Pembroke. School was going to be starting back for my 9 year old. She had found a day care for our 2 year old. Everything seemed like it was set in place. Now we are at about October 2020. This person is coming over to our house in Pembroke all the time or my ex and our girls are going there. I should mention that my 9 year old has said repeatedly that she does not feel comfortable around this person and finds him very weird. Says he's nice to her and her baby sister but he just doesn't seem to care much and he just makes her feel odd and he's weird and she doesn't care to be around him. So as this is going on....my jealousy back in Brantford is getting worse and worse. It got to the point that there was a night when this person made a supper for the 4 of them and I was talking to my daughter on the phone and she told me about this meal that they had and it was very very good. This didn't sit well with me. We finished our chat and I was texting my ex and told her something along the lines of "this is absolute bullshit. This is some husband and wife shit. I feel very uncomfortable with this person around our children." She basically said, again, that I was being ridiculous and that they are extremely good friends and this is what best friends do. I lost my temper and basically told her over text, "fuck this shit. Im done. I just....I dont want anything to do with any of this now. Enjoy your family of four." I should say obviously I dont actually want to revoke any sort of rights I was just jealous and angry and hurt. Let's fast forward a bit more. November of 2020. Now, they seem to be sleeping over there at this persons house pretty much every night. Which is super fucking weird as like I told you guys.....my daughter does not like this. She finds it very uncomfortable. At this point, due to covid among other factors....I really haven't seen them in about 2 months beyond video chat. I had started a new job but had a string of 5 days off in a row. Decided to make a bit of a rash judgement and drive up there to surprise my girls. But I wont lie, it was also because I was getting increasingly nervous. I arrive there on a Friday night at like 630 pm. I figured they were over there as there was no one at the house we owned (tbh probably a good thing as it avoids the confrontation). I asked my ex over text if she could come back to the house so I could hang out with the 3 of them. It didn't go well. She says "OP, are you insane??! We have not been on good terms lately, why would you think this would go well? I will bring the girls back but im not staying there." Than I just lost it. "This is absolutely ridiculous. I wanted to spend time with all of you." "I will not be staying there." "OK....well....I guess you had better just not come back then cuz I can tell you if you do....I will follow you to that house." "Omg are you insane? I'm calling the cops this is insane"blah blah. It never happened. We calmed down and I eventually stayed in the house for the night. She brought our girls over in the afternoon while she did grocery shopping but they already had plans to go out with her cousin to look at Christmas lights that night. I was invited to come but it would've been way too awkward. I just drove the 5.5 hours home. It just got worse from here when I got home. This is like beginning of December. The very next day her father passes. Soon afterwards, she announces to me that they are no longer going to be moving back. Im absolutely floored and beyond hurt. Huge fighting ensues. It gets very nasty with her saying terrible stuff like she will go for full custody, etc etc. I remind her that we had a deal to move back after her father passed and that she can't do this with our kids. She says she is not stopping me from seeing them. Willing to meet every weekend for me to have them. This is no life. This is no life to formulate a good relationship with our daughters. This is beyond cruel. She claims im the bad one as im trying to force our daughters out of the house they love and the school our 9 year old loves and the quiet neighborhood. So.....now its about mid December. I am getting them to stay with me from December 27th- January 9th (they are here now). Its probably about the 21st at this point and she decides to announce to me that they are a couple and have been for a month now. Obviously im crushed. Shes said so many times all she ever wanted was for us to work out. Wanted me and her forever. Wouldn't have ever happened if it wasn't for my poor behavior and all that. But shes happy now she says. Many many days of crying ensue. Rage and anger. Jealousy. Insane insane jealousy. Here comes the creeper parts. So. Over the last 2 or so months I've learned some details. Dude apparently has a child on the way with a woman but she moved 5 hours away from him when she first found out she's pregnant (probably should've been a red flag for my ex). Guy works in the military in Petawawa, a town nearby Pembroke. Big, big military town. Hes a chef or some such shit there. Now....im not condoning my next actions. My eldest daughter had made me wary of this person as well as obviously my jealousy. I started doing some social media digging. Found out who his ex is. Started a very awkward dialogue with her one day (around the 23rd or something). It blossomed into actual conversation for days on end. Turns out, according to her and some serious shit she showed me during our many, many conversations.....this guy is seriously trouble. Massive control issues (I know...pot meet kettle), manipulation and grooming. On multiple occasions this guy would hold knives to her and threaten if she ever left him that he'd fucking end her or himself. Many many times of beating her up both verbally and physically (I saw a bunch of pretty bad pictures). Use to choke her out against a wall until she passed out and then would proceed to have his way with her.....really messed up stuff. Heres the real kicker. Curious how these two met? Not sure exactly how they met....but how they ended up actually getting together and having a 4 year relationship is because.......they both came into the relationship positive for genital herpes. Genital friggin herpes. He cheated on her many, many times during their relationship (apparently grounds for firing from the military). During these times that he's cheated on her....he apparently infected multiple people with this STI. He was scared moreso when a few women tried to confront him over text or other social media claiming that they wanted to get in contact with him and would sue (apparently thats a thing, I didnt know), than when his girlfriend found out as he knew he could smooth over the fact he cheated on her because he had her groomed and scared. So obviously he has not told my ex this, even though his ex that I've been speaking with literally described where exactly they are in his house as shes been living there for 4 years (up until about may/June 2020). I confronted my ex about all of this stuff. She wasn't hearing any of it. Doesn't believe anything. Laughed me off. Says he's treated her nothing but good since theyfe been together. Said she won't put up with anything bad, not even once, but nothing has happened. Only thing that gave her any kind of pause was when I told her that literally less than a month ago he was texting his ex, asking her to "please come back, please come back to me. You are my everything. I want to spend the rest of my life with yiu" etc etc. So clearly this guy doesn't give a damn about my ex and she is just the current thing for him to pass his time with. So. I think we are just about at the end of the story. Not much else has happened since that as, like I mentioned much earlier, I've had our daughters with me since dec 27th, until Jan 8th (for now). Oh. Actually.....one thing. She continues to show incredibly poor parenting skills. During this time that they've been with me.....sometimes around the 29th....she has actually gotten him to move in with them at OUR house. This is so beyond messed up. One month dating and this happens. Our kids don't even like him. Like I said earlier, my 9 year old has said he's very weird and strange and makes her uncomfortable. But she claims she's doing this all in the best interest of them. She justifies this because this guy is now apparently renting out rooms to two people at his house while chipping in some bills at our house. So the dude is using her as a cheap place to crash (the mortgage on our house in Pembroke is literally like 330$ a month), while he profits off his house. I have thought of doing multiple (probably bad) things, but I feel like someone needs to stop this terrible person before he hurts people beyond just my ex. I have definitely thought of contacting the Petawawa Military Police and telling them about all the horrible things I know about this person and telling them to check his medical files (the military doctor issues this guy his herpes medication, Valtrex). Ive also thought about sending him a pretty serious message, though that will probably amount to nothing. I can provide what I've typed up already about it if someone wants those details. I will finish this off with the legal questions.
She is scared as she thinks I can force the sale of the house as a co owner. Can I? Would I have a chance?
Am I able to get them to move back? I realize thats a multi layered question. Having a verbal deal I also realize probably looks bad on me....but even if she denies that this deal ever happened....why on earth would I ever just randomly allow our children to be moved 6 hours away forever? No sane person would.
I want this monster away from our children. Is it unwise to try and work up the balls to talk to military police?
Its to the point that I dont even feel comfortable bringing our children back to meet up with her halfway on Jan 9th. Like I stated previously, we've never had any sort of custody arrangements. So, in my eyes, neither of us are more allowed to have the children than the other. What are my options here?
If yiu made it all the way here.....thank you for your time. I cant express enough gratitude. This has absolutely been the year from hell for me, even without covid. TL;DR- ex and I had an agreement to move back with our children. Shes backing out of this. What are the options. Do I have a case? New guy in the picture very much scares me and our children are seriously uncomfortable. Can I do anything? Co own a house together. 50/50 split. What can be done about this to force the sale and potentially get things going in my favour?
Gf went to dinner alone with ex fwb at a fancy restaurant and he paid
We (34m and 25f) were fwbs for over 2 years and have been in a committed relationship for about 2 month, I’m in the process of moving to her city so we can be together. Today she told me she was having dinner with a friend. When she’s vague like that I know it’s most likely an ex fwb, else she would tell me who it is and where they’re going. anyways I didn’t ask much and in general I fully support both of us having alone time and personal space with our friends (even if it’s an ex fwb). She told me she was going to be home before 8 and again around 7:45 saying she’ll be home shortly after getting boba, i texted her at 9:30 after she was still not home to say good night since I had work early tmr and it was 10:30 for me. She texted me around 10 after seeing my text At this point I told her I didn’t know what to think when she said be back before 8 and simply went to bed at 9:30 when I still didn’t hear back. She said they ended up hanging out at the casino (shops in there)a bit and got boba since she didn’t her from me. She asked if I was upset. I asked who she went to dinner with and where did they go She tells me it’s an ex fwb who she hasn’t seen in a while, he knows she has a bf now and they’re just friends hanging out. They went to Joes seafood prime steak and stone crab in Ceasars palace in vegas and he paid for the meal. I’ll be honest it’s been a while since dated someone in a committed relationship and I do not think it’s appropriate for your gf to be going out on fancy dinners 1:1 with an ex fwb (who she says it’s just some one she used to fuck and now wants to be friend with) I don’t think shes cheating on me I simply think she’s playing with fire. looking for some advice on how to deal with this situation.
It must be nice to have a wife that stays home to care for your daughter so that you don't have to pay for daycare. It must be nice to have meals cooked for you and to feel so entitled to those meals that you get pissy if she doesn't want to cook. It never occurs to you to wonder why this woman wouldn't want to make yet another meal after serving a small human all day and just wanting to sit the fuck down and not be responsible for someone who doesn't bother cleaning up after a meal she's cooked for him. It must be nice to be able to just sleep instead of the countless hours spent soothing a baby, feeding a baby, changing a baby, and having the baby scream in your ear as you try to comfort her fussiness. You can't understand why your wife is always so pissy in the morning to you, and figure some well placed snotty remarks about her attitude problem is the best thing to remedy the situation. It must be nice to just walk out the door whenever you want to, just assuming your child will be cared for by the built in nanny maid you got lucky enough to marry. You're absolutely gobsmacked at how angry she gets when you refuse to take the baby with you. You even complain about her wanting to go with you. "I just want to do the shopping. I'll be right back." Three hours later you're not sure if the creature you've walked in on is your wife or a rabid animal about to go for your throat. It must be nice to have the belief that your wife has all this free time during the day and "what do you actually do?" Which is always said with a tone that really means "what the FUCK did you even do ALL day?!" It must be nice to think your wife isn't a social creature in need of conversation and recreation. You're always so put out when she mentions she wants to visit a friend or go hiking with a friend. How could she abandon you and your child like this?! Doesn't she know this is her job?! Likewise, it must be rather confusing why your wife ignores you when you attempt to talk about your day, having lunch with coworker friends and what the latest gossip is. You're especially disturbed that she gets silent and deadly whenever you show up late from work because you got held up talking with a coworker friend in the parking lot. You tell her "Well just call my mother if you want to get out of the house" and are shooketh that a range of emotions passes over her face, none of which look pleasant. You love your mother and spend most weekends and at least two nights a week with her. You even bring your wife and daughter, so what's with all the complaining about needing a break from the baby?! Isn't sitting on someone else's couch watching their tv while you and her talk and gossip about people your wife doesn't know a break? She even offers to buy McDonalds if you stay long enough! The baby can just go to bed at 11pm. What's the big deal? It's not like your wife has anything to do the next day, she can just sleep in with the baby. Today was my husbands birthday and I didn't say a word about it. I didn't "help" the baby make a card. I didn't make him dinner. I didn't clean the house, make a treat for him, or even text him all day. Why? Because I'm tired of being the only parent in this house. I'm tired of being overlooked. For my birthday, just 10 days ago, he got mad that I wanted to go with him to the store. He wanted to shop without us around so he could buy a gift and card. The night before my birthday. After I'd specifically told him what I wanted and it should have been ordered with enough time to arrive. He then told me on my birthday that he didn't know what camera I wanted, which is a lie because I sent him the link for purchase. He told me he couldn't make it to the bank before my birthday to withdraw the money. The bank is on the way home from work and my birthday is the same day of the year every year. I ended up having cash thrown on the table next to me with a "there's your money" comment a few days later. Not enough to buy the camera for myself. The weekend after my birthday (week day) he got mad because we woke him up at 9am. He slept in for 4 hours, and this was a fluke because the baby never sleeps past 6am. I had asked him to take her one of the weekend mornings so I could sleep in for my birthday. Apparently being able to sleep until 9 and then dealing with him being rude meant that was my morning. He has never taken her in the morning so I can sleep in even 15 minutes. He regularly complains about not being able to sleep in on his weekends, but even if I take her out of the room he just gets up and is angry for an hour or two like it's my fault she woke up at 6am like she always does. I'm sorry for this rant. I'm at the end of my rope. We barely speak to each other these days unless it's about his job or the baby. He prefers spending his weekends with his mother, who I'm not a fan of. She treats him like he's her husband and she has always acted like she barely tolerates me. She's made comments about me that were rude, and will change the subject if I'm talking and she walks into the room. She never talks with me, and she never asks me how I am. She doesn't actually know anything about me because she doesn't have any interest in knowing. My fil got me a birthday card with horses on it and I laughed and said I love it because I've always been horse crazy. She said loudly "what? No you're not!" I've owned horses since I was 9 and have three shelves of medals and trophies from different state and national competitions in my house. The only reason I don't own one now is because it's expensive and my last horse passed from old age right as I started dating her son. She doesn't know any of that. 20 years of my life is a mystery to her. I know her favorite color, meal, desert, some of her hobbies, who she's closest with out of her siblings, and always ask her how she's doing and really listen. Her son asks ME my opinions for gifts because I pay attention to things she mentions she wants, or things she might need or enjoy. Last Christmas she gave me a waffle maker that was a free gift at the casino. I don't eat waffles. I'm assuming he told her I'd like it because he wanted it. I'd asked for shoes since my winter boots fell apart at the sole. I bought my own boots because no one bothered. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Chapter 20 The dream was always the same. Terra found herself in a familiar place. Behind the control stick of her MagiTek armor. The burning rubble of a bell tower sat ablaze behind her as she continued her attack deeper into the city. Terra did as ordered, opening fire on the city and laying waste to any soldiers dumb enough to attack her. She would quickly dispatch them with her Ifrit Canon. As she stomped through the city streets, the buildings burned and crumbled all around her. She was surrounded by death and chaos as she laid waste to the city. Terra watched in horror as the destruction burned all around her. But then the dream changed as the world slowly faded into darkness. Terra looked down and could no longer see her armor. She stood there. Alone in the void. “Terra…” The voice whispered. The gentle voice returned. That familiar beacon in an otherwise unfamiliar world. Terra tried to remember where she heard the voice. As if it were an itch in the back of her mind, an itch that was near impossible to scratch. “Who are you?!” Terra screamed. “Listen well, and think clearly.” The voice replied in the distance, and then it was gone. Terra ran in the direction of the voice. Her feet were moving fast. She needed answers, the voice had them. But she noticed that no matter how fast she moved, she gained no ground. The darkness faded quickly as Locke shook her awake. “Alright, pal. Up and at, em’.” He said with his grin. “We got a long hike ahead of us, so eat something, and let’s get going.” The mood was different for Terra as they journeyed South. She found herself finally being able to relax a bit as Locke and Edgar let their guard down. Though they received no escort, word traveled to the scouts. Patrols were roaming the lands and protecting the king as he traveled on foot with his companions. Her worries melted away as she found herself marveling at the beautiful sights. Figaro was truly a bountiful land. Though her castle stood in the great desert, her countryside was not nearly as unforgiving. The weather was pleasant. The gentle sunlight beamed down on the grassy fields. The sun warmed Terra’s bones and calmed her spirit. Figaro’s snow-capped mountains looked picturesque, like from an oil painting. Not like those dreadful, sharp peaks of Narshe. Even the rains were gentle, warm and sweet. She made it a point to listen carefully to the world around her. The chirping of birds, the winds moving through the grassy fields, even her own breathing. They brought some peace to her frantic mind. Edgar was leading the party to a remote hunting cabin that King Edwin had insisted on building for his queen, though she seldom used it. Edgar’s mother believed that sleeping outside and tempering the body to the elements was the only way a king should live. “It toughens up the blood” She would insist. Edgar would always secretly wish for a hot meal and a soft feather bed, and although he was too proud to admit it, his dad was the same way during a hunt. Edgar caught himself chuckling quietly as he looked back on better times. The Knuckleheads were making chaos, causing a ruckus and making the castle their playground. The King was wise and good. The Queen, loving and strong-willed. “But those days are long gone,” he thought. He looked away as the smallest bit of sadness washed past his eyes. The sadness was short lived when the sight made them stop dead in their tracks. They looked to the sky to see a massive ship sailing across the heavens. Her wooden hull soared above as countless propellers briskly spun. The ship was flying west towards the sea. Terra’s jaw dropped at the sight. Locke looked on begrudgingly while the king looked on with wonder. “What is that?” Terra finally asked. “That is The Blackjack, the flying casino.” Edgar said. “She’s one hell of a machine. The only one of her kind.” “Yeah, but the Captain is a real piece of work.” Locke said before spitting on the ground. “What do you mean?” Terra couldn’t keep her eyes off the ship. “He gallivants around the world, living the high life.” Edgar explained. “He spends his days wandering, wooing women, and hosting high stakes poker games.” Edgar looked sullen. “I tried to buy into his last game and he said that I wasn’t rich enough for his blood.” “But you’re a king!” Terra exclaimed. “Indeed. That is what I told him.” He said with a sad look in his eyes. “But he assured me I couldn’t afford his price.” “Yeah.” Locke agreed. “We’d never have a chance in hell of getting on board that thing.” “What I wouldn’t give to get on board that ship.” Edgar said longingly. “I’d love to find out what makes her tick.” “I wonder what the world looks like from up there.” Terra said hopefully. They stood in silence as a warm breeze blew in their direction, as if to beckon them on. Chapter 21 “Are you going to play or are you going to fold?” Commissioner Allyn asked as The Captain swirled his fine crystal wineglass. “You’re wasting my time, and my time is not yours to waste”. Setzer loved playing against The Commissioner. The Nikeah Trade Union always had plenty of money to burn, and its leader knew how to light a fire. Setzer quietly looked at his cards and placed them on the table as he took a long drink as he pondered his next move. The Commissioner was on a hot streak. They had been playing for the better part of 12 hours and he was getting nothing but aces and kings. The Captain, on the other hand, was getting rags. Setzer Gabbiani hadn’t had a good hand all night as he quietly looked at his chip stack. He was short. In one bad hand, he could lose everything, even his fine doublet, quite possibly. The very thought excited him. Setzer looked at Allyn and gave him a cool smile. “Impatient, aren’t we?” Setzer teased. “I didn’t know you were in such a hurry to leave my establishment.” “I’m in a hurry to buy your vessel.” Allyn shot back. “I’m in a hurry to get this thing back to Nikeah.” “That would be most unfortunate for me.” The captain responded before taking a sip of wine. “So tell me, how exactly are you going to take my wings from me?” “You saw the bet. Five million gold pieces. From the looks of your stack, I’d say you have a couple of thousand at best.” He pointed out before taking a drag from his cigar. “Now, unless you just so happen to have 5 million, you’ll need to put something up. Now I’m sure that all of the luxurious finery you surround yourself isn’t worth that kind of money. But, I bet this ship is.” “I wouldn’t take that bet.” Setzer said with a smirk. “She’s worth a lot more than that.” “Not to me.” He snapped. “Five million is the bet. Your time’s up. Make a decision, what are you going to do?” Setzer sat up from his seat and revealed the inside of his doublet. Just inside the coat pocket sat three bar room darts made of solid gold. He pulled one out and studied it. He played with the dart for a moment as he pondered. He looked to a dart board hanging on the wall to his right, then back to Commissioner Allyn. The look of tension on his face was almost comical to Setzer. Allyn may have been a man of leisure, but he couldn’t relax worth a damn. “Well, I suppose I’ll let fate decide.” Setzer’s violet eyes met with the Commissioner's as he stared him down. In a quick flash, without aiming, he threw the dart at the board and it landed with a satisfying thud. A smile grew on his face as he kept glaring at Allyn. After what seemed like an eternity. Setzer looked over to see the dart sitting dead center in the double bullseye. “Well, there you have it.” He said with certainty. “Looks like I’ll call you.” Commissioner Allyn laughed heartily. “You are out of your mind, Setzer!” Setzer shrugged. “Well, there is no point to living life if you’re not willing to gamble with it. Now, are you going to show me your cards, or should I just take your money now?” The commissioner showed his cards. “Full house.” He said with a satisfied smile. “Jacks and Nines.” He chomped down on his cigar and looked at Setzer’s face. It showed him absolutely nothing. Setzer sighed. “I am afraid I only have two pair.” He flipped over his cards. “Pair of deuces with another pair of deuces.” The Commissioner's smile disappeared as the rage took over. His face turning beet red as he violently stood up. “You dirty little cheat!” he accused. “Come now, my friend.” Setzer said as he leaned back comfortably in his seat. “You know I would never stoop to such low standards just to win a card game. Lady luck merely flashed me her grin, nothing more. Now, I am more than happy to give you a chance to win back your money if you desire.” “Win back? No. I’m taking it back, alongside your ship, as payment for your cheating!” “Sir, I have tolerated your blustering for the better part of 12 hours,” Stezter stated firmly, “I have taken it in stride as this has been a friendly game up to this point. However, if you continue to make such disgraceful accusations, will deal with you in an equally disgraceful manner.” “I’d like to see you try, you son of a-” Setzer picked up the 2 of diamonds and threw it at the Commissioner. Allyn laughed at the thought of being attacked with a playing card. Then he felt the side of his head start to sting. Then it started to bleed. Then it started to hurt. Allyn groaned in pain as he put pressure on the bleeding wound across his head. Setzer got up and walked over to him. “Well, I believe that is enough excitement for one evening, wouldn’t you agree?” He said casually. “You’re a dead man, Setzer Gabbiani. Mark my words.” The Commissioner Threatened. “No, you mark mine.” He retorted. “I was able to disable you with the 2 of diamonds. That was one card. Now I’d like you to take a moment and imagine what I could do with the remaining 51.” That was exactly what The Commissioner did. He looked at his hand, he was bleeding more than he thought. The thought of what could happen turned his stomach. And that is when he noticed the friendly and playful demeanor of the gentleman gambler had disappeared, a cold and merciless look had taken over. “However, I am more than willing to overlook this misunderstanding. After all, what’s a mistake between friends?” Setzer offered as he extended his hand. “All I expect is an apology.” The Commissioner took his hand quickly and stood up. “Of course, I apologize. What I said was out of line. You played a fine hand, Captain” “Think nothing of it.” Setzer said as he painfully tightened his grip on The Commissioner's hand. “Now, if you ever forget your manners in my establishment again, I promise you will spend the last moments of your life trying to fly. Have I made myself clear, Commissioner?” “Yes. Perfectly clear, Captain.” Allyn responded immediately. Setzer’s playful smile returned as he led the Commissioner out of the poker room. “Marvelous!” He exclaimed. “Let us retire to the lounge for a refreshment as I ferry you home. Are you still a rum drinker?” Setzer asked. “I am.” Allyn replied humbled. “Excellent. Shall I set a course for Nikeah?” “That would be fine. Thank you, Captain.” Allyn said. Setzer went above deck to the ship’s wheel. A crescent moon was shining in the night sky above the clouds as he steered his ship east towards Nikeah. He smiled as he felt the wind breeze through his long, silver hair. Setzer knew exactly what he was going to do to celebrate. First stop: Jidoor for the appetizer. It had been a long day and he needed a proper meal. Then a hot bath with a thinly rolled cigar. And to end the evening with a gorgeous woman and a good night’s sleep in his suite at the Silver Lantern Inn. Then after a glorious breakfast, off to his tailor’s to get fitted for a new doublet and maybe a new suit. Second Stop: The Opera House for an evening of refined culture. It was opening night and Setzer was looking forward to the show. Aria de Mezzo Carattere was always one of his favorites. And a blonde goddess had been chosen for the part of Maria. Rumors of her beauty had traveled far and wide. He had to see if the rumors did her justice. He made a mental note to drop by the Jewlers in the banker’s district to pick out a diamond ring. Setzer found himself in the mood for romance. Writer's note: Yeah...been a while... There really isn't much of an interesting story about why it's been almost half a year since my last post. Sufficed to say, life happened. Well...that and a move to the opposite side of the country. I have been working on the story on and off for a little bit, but nothing ever major. Because I got hit with a horrible case of burnout. Then I started listening to Nobuo Uematsu's "Awakening" and the spark came back for a little bit. I wanted to switch things up as Setzer is one of my favorite characters in the game. I always had an interesting view on his character and I hope to explore that more now that I've gotten off of my butt and started to do some work once again. But if I'm going to do that, I REALLY need to pace myself. So I'm hoping to do 2 to 3 chapters a month, hopefully more. I sincerely apologize for the delays. I really want to keep working on this. Thanks to all of you who were reading this since the beginning. I'm hoping to keep working with this story as time goes on, so thanks for sticking with it!
As was requested by some of you, this will be a little more detailed in some ways than my previous reports, less detailed in other ways. I stopped working other than buying rentals in 2010, I hired my property manager to take over all day to day operations in 2013. My background is in various entrepreneurial adventures and service jobs. During my working career, my average income was less than $20K per year. I'm now in my mid 50s. EXPENSES (my goal is to spend less than $10K per year total) Total spent this month $424 (out of $500 budgeted) The usual disclaimer here. I own my house and cars outright. This is only my actual spending for the month. One time things like property taxes (which are about $330 per year for my house) repairs, etc. are accounted for in the month they are actually spent. Fixed Costs (These are basically all my monthly bills) Car Insurance - $45 (this is liability only for 3 cars) Cable (internet) - $70 Watesewetrash - $60 Cell phone - $35 Electric/Gas $100 Health Insurance $0 (do not currently have any) Total $310 monthly Of course there is a little variance from month to month in the electric and gas, but as one goes up, the other tends to go down. In reality it will vary from about $80 at the lowest to the highest of $120. This was a very low month, but I am keeping the average monthly cost here for simplicity in bookkeeping. Variable costs (these are things I still spend on monthly, but are more in my control) Gas for the cars $0 (I filled up last month when prices were cheap) Groceries (includes pet food and toiletries) $90 Hair Cut (including tip) $14 Entertainment $0 (this doesn't mean I didn't have entertainment...just nothing that cost me any money. In fact, I won a total of $123 and had 4 free meals from the local casino because of their incentives to get you in the door. I only go through the free incentives and then stop, and never put any of my own money. This gives me 2 or 3 hours of "free" entertainment per week. I also had a free meal provided by an out of state investor, and went on a couple of hiking excursions with friends) Total $114 NO other one time expenses for the month. So far my total for the year on these one time expenses is $3,020 (out of a budgeted $4000). The majority of this was car repairs from getting a car to sell. Income Net Rental Income $11,435 (after all expenses including property management fees) Dividends $438 Misc $123 Total Income $11,996 Monthly Investments Stocks $5,539 (this includes dividend reinvestment) Fundrise $2,120 (includes dividend reinvestment) Money Market $4,006 (includes dividend reinvestment) Total Investments (outside of real estate) $11,665 Notes: time I spend on the real estate I get a lot of people wondering how much time I spend on the real estate, so I tracked it this month. I looked at a total of 5 properties over 3 excursions during the month. Including travel time, this came to about 4 total hours. I look at what new is available each morning which takes maybe 5 minutes each day...so add another couple of hours. Dealing with the paperwork at the end of the month (most of this is done by my property manager, I just have to go over the totals) takes about 30 minutes. My property manager deals with the tenants and the remodels...these days it is pretty much autopilot and he knows what I want done and how....but he still comes by and/or calls me to update or ask my opinion. These phone calls, messages, and in person interactions added up to 2.5hrs...a large majority of that time was spent talking about things other than properties, but I'm not going to try to separate it. So, total spent this month was about 9 hours on the business. It should be noted I wouldn't have to spend this much time. I enjoy looking for new houses to add to the portfolio. I could stop growing the business, let my PM take over everything and I would eliminate virtually everything except the paperwork I need for my taxes...which takes about the same amount of time as dealing with any other investment. total invested vs. net worth My total invested in real estate is under $500K (I don't keep a running monthly total on everything, but earlier this year when I added it up it was around $440k) net worth is tricky since it isn't a liquid investment, but if we use the 1% rule, it would make my portfolio worth about $1.5M My total stock portfolio is now worth $222,274 My Fundrise portfolio is now worth $52,878 My cash (including cash equivalents) $34,342 Misc net worth including cars, art, and collectibles (very rough estimate) $75K My future goals I AM naturally frugal. It comes from living within my means on extremely low wages most of my life. But I'm not just saving for the fun of it (although I do think it is fun in many ways). I don't hesitate to spend on the things that are important to me, and I find ways to game most of my spending to get great deals. I am now building wealth to donate to charity when I'm gone. I am working on starting an animal sheltevet clinic. My different investment accounts and real estate portfolio will go to fund this and other charities in what I hope will be in perpetuity. I am also probably eventually going to buy another house for me to live in. I'm being very picky about this house, so nothing has ticked all the boxes yet. If and when that happens I'll probably turn my current house into another rental. I'm going to sell off a couple of the collector cars and replace them with new cars, and pocket the profits to put toward future repairs or purchases. Finally, this long post is almost over If you read this whole thing, THANKS for the stamina. I've tried to address everything people have asked to see in these updates. I know they are not everyone's cup of tea...and that is fine. I do them in hopes of helping others by showing how different people handle different budgets. I always find them interesting when others share these kinds of details, so I'm trying to include everything I would want to see. That about wraps it up, please feel free to ask any questions.
COVID-19 has now infected more than 215,956 people. There have been 8,757 confirmed deaths and 84,080 confirmed recoveries attributed to the virus.
Recent Updates Note: These are the updates from the last 48-72 hours. MARCH 18 -
United States: President Trump signed into law a coronavirus relief package, which provides free coronavirus testing and ensures paid emergency leave for those who are infected or caring for a family member with the illness. The bill also provides additional Medicaid funding, food assistance and unemployment benefits. The "third phase" coronavirus response bill is expected to pass later this week. Read more here.
United States: President Trump announced that home foreclosures and evictions will be suspended “until the end of April.” Read more here. He also invoked the Defense Production Act, which gives the government the authority to control the production and distribution of scarce materials deemed "essential to the national defense." In his executive order, Trump specifically cites protective equipment (presumably face masks) and ventilators as meeting the criteria in this provision. Read more here.
United States: Reps. Mario Diaz-Balart and Ben McAdams become first members of Congress to test positive for coronavirus. Read more here.
United States: King County in Washington State is building a 200-bed field hospital on Shoreline soccer field amid coronavirus outbreak. Read more here.
United States: The New York Stock Exchange said starting March 23, it will temporarily close its historic trading floor and move fully to electronic trading. This is the first time the physical trading floor of the Big Board has ever shut independently while electronic trading continues. Read more here.
United States and Canada: US President Donald Trump and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau have agreed to close the US-Canada border to all non-essential travel in an attempt to curb the spread of coronavirus. Trade will not be affected. Read more here.
Canada: Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has announced a massive $82-billion aid package to help Canadians and businesses cope with the global COVID-19 pandemic, including income supports, wage subsidies and tax deferrals. The package includes $27 billion in direct supports and another $55 billion to help business liquidity through tax deferrals. Read more here.
Japan’s Hokkaido, the nation’s prefecture with the highest number of coronavirus infections, will end its state of emergency over the epidemic on Thursday. Read more here.
Europe: The European Central Bank launched an extra emergency bond-buying program worth 750 billion euros ($820 billion) in the latest attempt to calm markets and protect a euro-area economy struggling to cope with the coronavirus epidemic. Read more here.
France: French police handed out over 4,000 fines Wednesday to people found violating an order to stay at home, on the first full day of a lockdown aimed at slowing the spread of the coronavirus in the country. Read more here.
Portugal’s President Marcelo Rebelo de Sousa declared a state of emergency to combat the coronavirus pandemic. The new measures allow Prime Minister António Costa's government to restrict movement of people, temporarily suspend the right of workers in vital sectors — such as health, civil protection, security and defense — to strike, and ban protests and social or religious meetings Read more here.
Brazil: Davi Alcolumbre, the head of Brazil's Senate, became the latest high-level political figure to test positive for coronavirus on Wednesday. Read more here.
Chilean president Sebastian Pinera declared a 90-day state of catastrophe Wednesday to address the spread of COVID-19 in the country, which has 238 confirmed cases of the novel coronavirus. By law, a state of catastrophe puts the armed forces in charge of public order and security and enables military control of the movement of people and goods. Military officials will be able to issue direct instructions to public employees and local governments and establish measures deemed necessary to maintain public order, including curfews. Read more here.
Africa: Sub-Saharan Africa records first coronavirus death. Read more here.
Europe: This year's Eurovision Song Contest has been canceled in the wake of the coronavirus pandemic, organizers confirmed on Wednesday, marking the first time that the much-loved competition has ever been scrapped. Read more here.
Australian airline Qantas and its subsidiary Jetstar will suspend scheduled international flights from late March until at least the end of May due to the coronavirus crisis. In a statement posted on its website Thursday, Qantas Group announced that 60% of its domestic flights would also be cut, and two-thirds of its 30,000 employees would be temporarily stood down. Read the announcement here.
RyanAir, Europe’s biggest low-cost carrier, said it expected “most if not all” flights to be grounded, apart from a small number to maintain connections between the UK and Ireland. Read more here.
MARCH 17 -
United States: A plan developed by the federal government to combat the coronavirus reportedly projects the pandemic will last 18 months or more and could feature multiple “waves.” Read more here.
United States: Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin raised the possibility with Republican senators that U.S. unemployment could rise to 20% without government intervention because of the impact of the coronavirus. Mnuchin discussed the scenario with the lawmakers on Tuesday as he proposed an economic stimulus of $1 trillion or more. Read more here.
United States: Treasury and IRS to delay tax payment deadline by 90 days. Read more here.
United States: The U.S. military is preparing Naval hospital ships for deployment, and is looking to open its labs to help test civilians for coronavirus. The Pentagon also plans to distribute equipment. Read more here.
United States: White House requests and additional $45.8 billion in emergency funding due to coronavirus. The request comes on top of the $8.3 billion in emergency funding passed by Congress just two weeks ago and underscores just how dramatically financial demands at federal agencies have grown in a matter of days. Read more here.
United States: Schools are likely to be closed for the rest of this school year according to Governor Newsom of California. Ohio's governor has made similar statements. Read more here.
United States: Are Hospitals Near Me Ready for Coronavirus? Here Are Nine Different Scenarios. | There is a tool in the article that allows you to see your area's hospital capacity. See the interactive tool here.
EU: Leaders of European Union countries have agreed to close the EU’s external borders to most people from other countries for 30 days in a new effort to slow the coronavirus pandemic. Movement within European Union member nations will be still be allowed. Read more here.
Spain: Spanish Prime Minister Pedro Sanchez announced a package of measures worth a total 200 billion euros ($219 billion), between loans, credit guarantees, benefits and direct aid, to mitigate the impact of the coronavirus epidemic on the economy. The package represents about 20% of the country’s gross domestic product; 117 billion euros for the package will come from the government, with the rest to come from private companies. Read more here.
Scotland: No new jury trials will take place in Scotland for the foreseeable future due to coronavirus. Read more here.
Bolivia will close its borders to non-residents and suspend all international flights to combat the spread of coronavirus. The measure will remain in place until March 31. Read more here.
Australia declares emergency, warns coronavirus crisis could last six months. Read more here.
Euro 2020 has been postponed by one year until 2021 because of the coronavirus pandemic. Read more here.
MARCH 16 -
A Phase 1 clinical trial evaluating an investigational vaccine designed to protect against coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) has begun at Kaiser Permanente Washington Health Research Institute (KPWHRI) in Seattle. Read more here.
The European Union will ban all nonessential travel into the bloc for at least 30 days. Read more here.
France has instituted a lockdown and will deploy 100,000 police to enforce the lockdown and fixed checkpoints will be set up across the country. Under the new measures, soldiers would help transport the sick to hospitals with spare capacity and a military hospital with 30 intensive care beds would be set up in the eastern region of Alsace, where one of the largest infection clusters has broken out. Macron also announced he was postponing the second round of local elections on Sunday. Read more here.
United States: President Trump held a press conference today, where he said that the U.S. may be able to get the new coronavirus outbreak under control by July or August at the earliest. He also said his administration may look at lockdowns for “certain areas” or “hot spots” in the nation, but said he wasn’t considering a full national lockdown. Watch the press conference here and/or read about it here.
United States: The Department of Health and Human Services experienced suspicious cyberactivity Sunday night related to its coronavirus response. The suspicious activity HHS was not a hack but it may have been a distributed denial of service -- or DDOS -- attack. Read more here.
United States: Six Bay Area counties announced “shelter in place” orders for all residents on Monday — the strictest measure of its kind yet in the continental United States — directing everyone to stay inside their homes and away from others as much as possible for the next three weeks. The directive begins at 12:01 a.m. Tuesday and involves San Francisco, Santa Clara, San Mateo, Marin, Contra Costa and Alameda counties — a combined population of more than 6.7 million. Read more here.
United States: New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut institute regional rules that ban gatherings of over 50, and close casinos, gyms, and theaters. Read more here.
United States: The Ohio primary has been postponed. Ohio Gov. Mike DeWine (R) announced late Monday that his administration will order that polls be closed on Tuesday due to a health emergency. Read more here.
United States: Dow Plummets Nearly 3,000 Points as Virus Fears Spread. Read more here.
Canada is closing its borders to noncitizens because of the coronavirus pandemic. U.S. citizens are exempt from the ban “for the moment." Read more here.
Israel is preparing to open four hotels across the country as quarantines sites for confirmed cases of coronavirus, Minister of Defense Naftali Bennett announced Monday night. The hotels will be used to treat people exhibiting mild symptoms of the virus. Read more here.
Finland closes schools, declares state of emergency over coronavirus. Daycare centres are to stay open but parents were asked to keep their kids home if possible. Read more here.
Sudan’s ruling sovereign council closed all airports, ports and land crossings and declared a public health emergency on Monday over fears about the spread of coronavirus. Read more here.
Amazon will hire 100,000 warehouse and delivery workers in the United States to deal with a surge in online orders, as many consumers have turned to the web to meet their needs during the coronavirus outbreak. Read more here.
The Peace Corps is telling its volunteers around the world that it is suspending all operations globally and evacuating all volunteers in light of the spread of the new coronavirus. Read more here.
United States: The College Board has cancelled the May SATs. Read more here.
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Hey, so my old account got compromised and due to some issues I couldn’t fix it. So I’m reposting from where I left off. Feel free to suggest more than 100 since we were nearly there anyway.
Convince a loan shark to forgive a mans debt
Helping a poor lad win a race so that he can win the heart of his crush.
Babysit for a friendly fey power-couple whose magically-gifted children love playing games like "the floor is made of lava," "don't let the balloon touch the ground," and "freeze tag."
Light all the sacred shrine lanterns along a deserted mountain trail.
Investigate the site of a meteor crash in the deep woods.
Track down a cow that broke free from the herd and return it to the farmer (alive)
convince someones child not to become a soldie adventurer.
Convince someone's parents that they should allow their child to be a soldier or adventurer.
Take a lesson from a BARD and make a performance.
Use your spells to aide in a Play or performance.
Look into strange happenings around town. (It's just restless kids/ teens playing pranks)
Take some food/ supplies to the orphanage outside of town.
Help gather food for the upcoming celebratory feast (fruit from the orchard, grain or vegetables from the fields, herbs and mushrooms from the forest, etc. Choose what makes most sense in your setting)
Harvest honey from a certain beehive with the sweetest honey. The bees there are notoriously ornery.
Gather rare medicinal herbs to help the local healer brew a salve for Little Timmy who's sick.
The town's blacksmith has broken his arm. Figure out a way to keep the town supplied until he's back on his feet.
An NPC's party is a total snooze fest. Liven it up. Let your players interpret that as they wish...
Negotiate with the local kobold tribe over mining rights and dues.
Spy on the populace for a local lord, to find the insurrectionists.
Convince a proud weapon smith to make plow shares, instead of his legendary blades. (The blades end up sentient and cursed after so many battles.)
Infiltrate a thieves guild, to unmask the new “Puppet Master.”
Rebuild a home destroyed by bandits
Help a local cleric move a sofa
Re-light a signal fire on top of a mountain
Participate in a talent show
Challenge the village bullies to a game of basketball
Deliver secret letters for two star crossed lovers from rival houses.
Solve the murder mystery.
Find the elven queen and get magical soil and seeds to heal the recently cleaned blighted forest.
Win a tournament of carnival games.
Win a pokecard/dice tournament.
Deliver a love letter.
Take a group to the school prom.
Fix up a bunch of broken items in the shopkeeper’s place.
Be a member of the jury for a very grey case
Set up trade agreements between competing guilds to help alleviate the amount of sabotage in the business.
Train a group of guards in how to anticipate the often unpredictable actions of adventurers.
Host a support group for "I think my child might be turning evil"
Resolve a miner’s strike for the local magistrate.
Save a servant’s job by finding the missing silver and prove she didn’t pilfer it.
Raise funds from the tight-fisted local aristocracy to build an orphanage for the children orphaned by the recent war, to which the local aristocracy was heavily called upon to financially support by the Baron/Duchess/Queen, etc.
Perform a puppet show for the children of a fey court to keep them entertained and out of mischief while their parents/guardians attend court.
Collect living magical beasts for the local Countess’s Mystical Menagerie.
Take the Baroness’s teenage son on a “heroic adventure” as he is enamored with adventurers and longs for an epic quest, but is socially awkward, bad with weapons, clumsy, and so far unable to learn even cantrips. They are forbidden from placing him in front of any real threat. Do they put on a completely faux adventure or attempt to build his confidence and teach him skills?
Prove the innocence of a man accused of theft of a noble's jewels
Find a way to repair a large windmill that helps drive the town
Put on a play for a group of orphans after the local actor troupe quit
Interview witnesses of a possible murder
Interview applicants for the job of henchman
Get alchemical supplies for healing potions to a remote town dealing with a disease outbreak
Deal with a noble's son bullying and throwing his weight around
Plan security for a festival. They have to be careful, too tight and it's no fun. Too loose, and it can get out of hand. Include different areas where things can go wrong (party boats, shooting range, stuff for kids in the morning).
A local orphanage is going to be shut down. The only way to keep it open is to win the cash prize at the local talent show/battle of the bands.
A series of combat fake-outs where a siege turns out to be a festival, but the party needs to convince them to clear a path from the front gate. Then some marauders attack but it turns out they're just larping, but they are still bothering travelers, etc.
Help Catsy Cline the tabaxi farmer do chores around her farm with lots of unusual creatures.
Help a group of mourners put on a funeral. You'll need to play music and cater food.
Try to beat the Fairy Godfather at a casino game to win a magic item.
A woman's flock of prize chickens were spooked away by last night's storm. They look to be a different breed than most other chickens in the area. Help her round them up safe and sound and she'll give you a warm meal and a small reward.
A young boy asks for help to find his runaway family dog. He gives you a shabby old blanket covered in fur and tells you it was her favorite. Under the smudges of mud and dead leaves, you notice finely embroidered clothes that suggest that he comes from a wealthy family.
A performer who was supposed to make an appearance at the tavern the party is staying at hasn't shown up yet. Either find them or stall for time so the crowd doesn't get bored!
A house party in the city has been getting lots of noise complaints. Break it up and send the drunk guests home.
A little girl's direcat got stuck in a tree.
A wizard's familiar is going on strike. Apparently it doesn't like dying so much.
Find a very small lost item.
Be bodyguards for someone who just wants them for the prestige. They are incredibly irritating but under no threat of violence.
Retrieve a blink dog or semi intangible animal.
Write a diplomatic letter for an inept ruler to prevent disaster.
Help out local farmers before the first frost rolls in.
Babysit a powerfully magical infant.
Rescue a cat from a giant magical tree (its near the top)
Find and bring back a child lost in a maze (the maze changes and uses illusions)
Fill in for some performers who are unavailable (sick, hurt, left). Could be a play, stunts, music, etc. (lots of role playing, write an outline of challenges they'll encounter during it)
Help someone find a loophole in a contact with a demon / fey
Gather rare ingredients for a particular perfume, poison, or potion for an alchemist.
Help the local blacksmith with their next armor piece.
Baby sit a bunch of old time adventures with dementia. Their class abilities are still intact, they're just senile.
Someone seeks help in solving a magical puzzle box they inherited from a family member.
Plant some false information, either by rumour, or in letter form. Make sure the correct people learn this information. Bonuses for making them believe it comes from an enemy of theirs, not the player, and is supposed to be secret.
Help a local chef win a cook off by gathering his necessary exotic ingredients (marketplace, dark market, going and getting them yourself from the wilderness)
Go with a dragon studies professor to study a dragon's habits.
A changling has a sword pulled on them by their friends after telling them they're a changling.
Declog a sewer pipe in the sewers beneath the city. There is a homeless werebeaver living there that is unknowingly building a dam, causing the blockage, during full moons.
Track down a cowardly sentient ooze with a magic item.
Win a poetry competition in a cave of intelligent pacifist orcs
Help a lone forest dweller unblock the mountain path from storm debris
Help an astral dragon return to its home plane.
Help with rebuilding an intricate shrine so the settlement it's built around can receive the blessing of its god(s) once more. Proper reconstruction probably requires it to be partly made of rare materials using exotic techniques.
Help the festival planners in preventing an important festival competition/election/nomination from being rigged.
Accompany a famous explorer(s) as they seek to catalog new sights with the aid of 'fresh yet experienced perspectives'.
Rescue a merchant caravan trapped in a stormy mountain pass.
Tutor a newborn demigodlike being in mortal matters, so that it can blend in with the mortal family it is raised with.
Help the local government investigate and assess candidates for an office of high esteem, requiring specific traits e.g. unwavering loyalty, honesty, a propensity for pragmatism, etc.
Bring a renowned artist to somewhere they've never been so they can become inspired once more.
One of the locals owns a hyperactive blink dog as a pet. Recently they hurt their leg so need someone to take it for a walk. WCGW.
Recover several missing sandbags and get them to the town before the coming storm.
Be lab rats for a potion maker
Help out with a concert by a traveling bard by doing behind the scenes stuff
Be actors in a play
Help extinguish a large fire
Give a lecture on adventuring to some students
Find a way to open a mysterious old door that's been locked for centuries.
Retrieve a bunch of magical animals for a wizard
Broker a peace treaty between two warring kingdoms.
Help a lost child find their parents.
Rehabilitate a criminal seeking redemption back into society.
Fix the town's well
Mend the relationship of two old friends who were partners in a vital business to the village
Original Viera Voice 7: With the release of Shadowbringer came a new race, Viera. As with many other races players can choose one set among a certain amount of voice sets when they create/fantasia their characters. Viera Voice 7 as of 5.0 is like this https://youtu.be/Lo2XtnYpnIg , but since 5.1 it has been changed completely. The old sounds were bugged and appeared to be that of an old woman having an orgasm.
Pixel Dodge: This is how most MMOs work, that our character's model is actually "compressed" in one single point/pixel. Not "compressed" in the literal meaning, "compressed" as in "only that single pixel matters when considering hitboxes". This is very relevant in dodging AOE, sometimes you can see parts of your body being inside the telegraphed marker, but you don't get hit. As long as that single point is out of the danger zones, you will be fine.
Clip onto Cliffhanger: Cliffhanger is a GATE in the Gold Saucer, in the Round Square, that requires you to do a mini jump puzzle to get to the top of the mountain. When the GATE pops, you would need to talk to the NPC and get teleported to the startpoint. The thing is, you can actually get on top of the mountain whenever you want, without having to initialise the GATE or even have the GATE present. From here https://imgur.com/a/ldTj0Ls, you can actually jump to here https://imgur.com/a/JlOVSa4. You might not get it on the first try but if you keep trying and jumping, you'll eventually get it.
Edda's Ghost: Edda is a character in the Tam-tara Deepcroft Hard questline. The story is tragic and gruesome. You can find a full summary of the story of said questline here https://www.reddit.com/ffxiv/comments/2a9wji/tamtara_lore_welcome_to_creepsville_spoilers_all/ When you complete Tam-tara Hard, there is a 1%(?) 0.1%(?) (I don't remember the actual probability, I just know that it is small) chance that Edda will spawn (for you only) in one of the main three cities. This is a known feature. The myth is that some players claimed that they saw Edda's ghost without completing the Tam-tara Hard questline. Edda also appears in Palace of The Dead as a boss once you reach a certain floor.
Gold Saucer visible: The Gold Saucer is visible in the background of Southern Thanalan, like the way Idyllshire is visible from Hinterlands and Eulmore is visible from Kholusia.
Comfort Misery: The debuff status "Misery" can actually be cleansed using /comfort on the affected target. It first appeared in the LV50 dungeon The Lost City of Amdapor. There are gremlin mobs in said dungeon that cast "Foul Mouth" it will apply a "Misery" debuff on you. It cannot be cleansed with Esuna, but it can be cleansed with /comfort. This is a known feature. It DOES NOT work on yourselves though, it has to be from another player so if you wanna test it make sure to have at least 2 people.
Retainers in Overworld: Retainers can actually be seen in the overworld, gathering resources. Like Edda, they also have a chance of appearing. They appear as untargettable NPCs, like the other untargettable NPCs you can see in many other places. This is a known feature.
GM Jail: It is a place where you get pulled in by a GM. Apparently it is actually not instanced, and most of your actions are disabled, including teleport and return. The only thing that appears on your screen is the chatbox. This effectively serves as an in-game jail, where players who committed misconducts are pulled in there and get a warning/a strike/a temporary ban/a perma ban from a GM. When you are released, you will not be released to where you got pulled from, you will be released to the aetheryte that you set as your return point (so probably Limsa).
Crystarium 2005 Tech Demo: The original video itself is from 2005, but this video from 2007 pretty much sums it up https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgtZvn5c4e4 It is a Tech Demo from two thousand and five, fifteen years ago that depicts a city with a striking resemblance to the Crystarium.
Cloud Strife Dialogue: It is an easter-egg in game that you can find under System > Character Configuration > Log Window Settings > General then click on one of the 4 Log Filters. It looks like this https://imgur.com/a/Se7IiHB. Each line in each tab of the filters has its own Cloud line.
Open air wedding chapel: Wedding, referred to in-game as "Eternal Bond" or simply "EB", is a ceremony between two players where they get "married". The ceremony is in the Ivory Chapel in East Shroud, many of you might already be very familiar with it. The wedding concept in FF14 however started with an open-air wedding style instead of indoor, unfortunately I can't seem to find the reference picture.
Hidden Gilgamesh in OST: Way back in 2.3/2.4 there was one of the many FFXIV OST albums was released for purchase. One of the tweet from the FF14 twitter after the release of said album was this https://imgur.com/a/PdnnUF8 it referred to a locked file within the album that contains the track "Battle of the Big Bridge". The password to unlock said file is "gilgamesh".
Back masking in Tam-tara Hard theme: Backmasking is a recording technique in which a sound or message is recorded backward onto a track that is meant to be played forward. Backmasking is a deliberate process, whereas a message found through phonetic reversal may be unintentional. This is probably related to Edda and her creepy questline.
Housing Void: There is a glitch in FFXIV where you can go out of bound in a house. With a certain specific set up, consisting of Troupe Stages and certain beds, you can see what it's like "outside" of a house. It's a square box with non-smooth texture within a completely dark background, if you fall into it you'll fall forever.
Meol is just bread: Meol is the food given by Vauthry to the poor people living in Kholusia. It is actually made of sin eaters, so if one eats that, one to an extent "is" a sin eater. Vauthry has the ability to control sin eaters, that's why he does that. This is probably a meme related to this, in line with the saying "x did nothing wrong".
Dun Scaith Ultima: The 24 man raid Dun Scaith, when first released, had a completely different third boss, the Succubus. After a certain FanFest (I forgot which FanFest) where players who attended got to do a fight with the Proto Ultima, they decided to change Dun Scaith's third boss to Proto Ultima. There is actually still a way for you to fight the original third boss, the Succubus, whereas ALL 24 players in that instance must not have accepted the Proto Ultima questline. As long as ONE of the 24 players in Dun Scaith has accepted the Proto Ultima questline, you will get Proto Ultima as the third boss.
0:00 Titan clear: Titan is one of the more notorious primals in FFXIV. This is probably a meme referring to a bug/glitch that would give you an instant win over one of the Titan fights.
King Moogle self-kill: Thornmarch and Thornmarch EX, are primal fights released in 2.2, so like... 6 years ago. In the Extreme version you would fight King Moogle and his 8 lackeys. Unlike most other fights, this one does not have a hard enrage. You are supposed to reduce the lackeys' HP to very low, but not zero, then kill one, the king would then refill all of the lackeys' HP to full at the cost of his own HP. You can only do this twice before the "enrage". Basically you damage the main boss by damaging the adds. If you just kill one lackey for example, the main boss would only lose a little of his HP, compared to a big chunk if you have all 8 at very low HP then kill one. After the second time of doing that, King Moogle will cast his Enrage, dealing a fix amount of... 30000 damage. The cast is super long, like 15-20 seconds. In 2.2, that is more than enough to kill everyone. But in 5.2 where everyone has 120k HP and the tanks have like 170k HP, if you do this fight unsync, no one would do it the legit way. They would just quickly kill 2 lackeys, then the main boss because unlike other hard enrages where it just outright kills you regardless of how much HP you have, this fight's enrage is fixed at... 30k damage per cast. Non healers can survive 5-8 casts, healer can survive infinite casts, so there is no point of doing this the correct way when unsync.
Urth's Fount (Extreme): This is a primal fight release in 2.5, where you fight Odin. This fight does not actually have an Extreme version, only a normal version. This is one of the few primal fights to not have an Extreme version. Urth's Fount Extreme is probably a meme related to this.
Koji Fox Vocals: Koji Fox is the lead of the English localisation team for FFXIV. He is famous for the plethora of pop culture references within the game, and also a lot of sexual innuendos. He is also a member of the FFXIV band along with Soken and other members, where he actually is the lead vocal. Some of the in-game OSTs are actually Koji's singing, namely "Locus" (Seeking the peace of reason, Sheep in a peaceless season...)
Warrior of Light is a primal: This is theorised long before, where... we the WOL, is a primal.
Y'shtola aethersight is killing her: After using her kaboom ultimate to escape in the conclusion of 2.5, she got lost in the Lifestream and became blind. She is now "seeing" with aethersight instead of her eyes, and it is theorised that if she keeps on doing this she will die.
Zenos died in Ala Mhigo: Zeno died in the conclusion of 4.0 after we fought him, he then body hopped to a resistance soldier then later body hopped back to his actual body, thanks to the artificial echo. This is a meme related to that.
Crowd Noise Lalafell: If you go to a crowded city and turn off all the sound excepts for the "Ambient Sound", you will hear a lot of chatters with occasion laughter and shouting. The lalafell noise definitely replays over and over along with the "UGHHH" sound right after. This is automatic and is part of the game even if no players are actually emoting. It's specifically Lalafell /happy voice 1.
Chocobo Summoning in House: A Chocobo as a mount and a choboco as a companion, under normal circumstances cannot be summoned in a house. There is probably a glitch that allows it, but I don't know about said glitch. It might also just be a meme.
Note: From this point onward (the third row), there appears to be less and less known features and more memes.
Desynthing Minion: Minion cannot be desynthesized. There might be a glitch that allows it, but I don't know about it. This is probably a meme.
Nanamo really died: Nanamo got "poisoned" in 2.5, we all thought she died back then but it turned out that she is still alive. It might be theorised that the current Nanamo we see is not real and the actual Nanamo actually died. This one is in the same line as the Zenos one. This one probably might just be a meme.
Miqo'te hidden human ear: Miqo'te have cat ears on top of their head instead of on the side. Probably just a meme.
Totorak Hard mode theme: Many of the old dungeons get a Hard mode version in later patches. Totorak is considered by many players to be long and tedious, especially if you get it in a leveling roulette. There is no Totorak Hard dungeon in the game, so this is probably a meme related to that.
Fattest Cat: Fat Cat is a minion. Fatter Cat is a mount. "Fattest Cat" is an easter egg found in the second boss of the LV70 dungeon "The Drowned City of Skalla", released in 4.1. You can see it here https://youtu.be/d6bUC9_Vy6M?t=132 This is actually an old FFXIV standard of naming skills, and some of it are still present to this day (Straight Shot -> Straighter Shot for example). Fattest Cat is probably a meme referring to that.
Midgardsormr blood in Mor Dhona: It is said that the blood of said dragon can be seen in Mor Dhona, but I think this is probably just a meme.
West Shroud: La Noscea has both Western La Noscea nad Eastern La Noscea, Thanalan has both Western Thanalan and Eastern Thanalan. The Black Shroud used to have both West Shroud and East Shroud in 1.x, West Shroud got removed in 2.0. Many players want the zone back.
A8S Temporal Loop: In A8S (The raid "The Burden of the Son" released in 3.2) if you ignore the mechanics for the 4 robots, it’s normally a party wipe. If you do it unsync, the wipe is actually possible to survive, but it’ll reset the fight to the beginning by respawning the first enemy robot if it detects any surviving players. The 3.x raid series/The Alexandre raid series also featured some time traveling elements, most notably in A12/A12S, where there is a mechanic that makes us go back in time to save ourselves in A11/A11S. The fights A11/A11S themselves have some foreshadowing to this too. This is probably a meme related to that.
Thancred still possessed: Thancred was possessed by Lahabrea back in ARR. He is now not possessed anymore so this is probably a meme saying that he is still possessed.
Lyhe Ghiah Door pattern: When doing treasure maps, sometimes you come across a portal that leads you to an instanced "dungeon". Within this place after you clear each floor you will get rewarded with gil and items, and the further you go, the more gil and the more valued items you would get, up to the very last floor. However between each floor you must choose between 2 to 3 doors. Choose right and you proceed to the next floor, choose wrong and you get booted out. The door choosing doesn't actually matter, it's just there for show, you have a set probability of success/failure regardless of which door you've chosen. Some people claimed that they can get the "correct" door every time by examining the patterns on the doors.
Estinien bathing scene: Apparently Estinien was wearing his blood-covered armour for like half of Heavensward, meaning he didn't take a bath for that much time periods. This is probably a meme related to that.
Zenos Sahagin theory: The MSQ part in 2.3, we came across a Sahagin Chef that can hop bodies with the help of the echoes. Zenos also did the same thing. This is probably a meme related to this.
Crystal Tower upside down: I don't actually know anything about this one but I guess it has something to do with the Mor Dhona's Crystal Tower and the Crystarium's Crystal Tower having different visuals.
Gold Saucer Ambient sound: If you teleport to the Gold Saucer and turn off all the sound except for the ambient sound, what you hear can be quite eerie/creepy, ironic to a supposed jovial-casino-themed establishment.
Hunger Bar: Hunger Bar is a reference to Minecraft where players have a bar displayed as drumsticks which regulates the player's certain abilities. In FFXIV we can have a meal, but we are not required to have a meal to function properly. This is a meme related to that.
Mahjong Fifth player: Mahjong is a 4-player game that was added in 4.4. So first I read this comment https://old.reddit.com/ffxiv/comments/hs0fi5/the_iceberg_of_final_fantasy_14_secrets_and/fy8292l/ but coincidentally, I am actually a semi-pro Mahjong player IRL. I have actually reached the highest rank (10th Dan) 8 months ago in November 2019, and I currently am the first and only 10th Dan player in FFXIV. I also have a really high rating. https://imgur.com/a/DTe2bNo This one I can personally confirm that there is no such thing as Gonma or 5th Mahjong player or any additional Mahjong questline in FFXIV. This is an obvious meme.
Unique Scylla Robe: The "Scylla's Robe of Casting" and "Scylla's Robe of Healing" are drops from the 24-man raid Syrcus Tower. Their similarity in visual between the 2 robes are probably what made this meme.
Reflection Texture: Mirrors exist in the FFXIV universe. Some housing items are actually mirrors, like this makeup set https://imgur.com/a/6l2BVWT, but as you can see it is always deliberately covered, because reflection texture in game would probably be too much, hence this meme.
Exarch clone: Probably a meme related to the many Crystal Exarch clones running amok, and one we've seen in the 2019 Halloween event.
Dress up Flash game on Mog station: Probably a meme related to Fantasia.
Triple Triad empty card: A glitch occurred in a Triple Triad game in which you have an empty card. There was actually a thread and a video about this glitch, but I cannot find it right now. I will update this post when I find it.
Note: Most of the terms in the bottom row are memes.
Dialectics of the Baldesion Arsenal: Baldesion Arsenal or simply BA, is a 54-man dungeon released in 4.55 with the latest installment of Eureka, Hydatos. Eureka itself is kinda like a totally different world compared to the rest of the game (both literally and metaphorically). When Eureka was in its prime, instances were often full, and if you zoned in a Eureka instance you would find things on /shout chat like: "Is Louhi up?", "LFG NM prep", "lfg train", "Please rez at (x;y)". BA probably has the same kind of abbreviations referring to strategies, probably even more obscure that led to the birth of this meme.
Stone Sea Sky Numerology: Stone Sea Sky or simply SSS is a featured first released in 3.0, which "mimics" certain fights (often Extreme Primal and High-End Savage Raids), in the form of a dummy with a set amount of HP. This amount changes depending on which job you are. It is supposed to be a personal DPS check to see whether you have the DPS to clear the encounter, it might or might not be accurate. This is a meme related to that.
Thancred Infertile: Probably a meme related to Thancred's inability of having children.
Black Parse: Parsing is the act of using ACT (heh) or Advanced Combat Tracker, a 3rd party tool to calculate one's DPS. A parse can also be called a "log", and said log can be uploaded to a website called "FFlogs", which ranks players based on those logs. Each fight and job has their own percentile of DPS, and each percentile tier has a colour associated with it, with 0-25 being grey, 26-49 being green, 50-74 being blue, 75-94 being purple, 95-99 being orange and 100 being gold, hence terms like "Grey parse", "Orange parse". There is no percentile that has the colour black, so this is a meme related to that.
Lord of Verminion Tournament: Lord of Verminion is a mini game added way back in 3.1, you can go to the Gold Saucer upper floor and play with another player. It's basically a MOBA where you control your minions to defeat your opponent's. The game is actually quite fun, I enjoy it from time to time, but there are not many people playing it. There is also a bi-weekly tournament of this game, but the number of participants can be so low that you might see the same names on the leaderboard every time.
PoTD RNG sampling uses number stations: PoTD or Palace of the Dead is a rogue-like randomised dungeon where you must kill monsters on a floor to proceed to the next floor. The layout of each floor is completely random. A numbers station is a shortwave radio station characterized by broadcasts of formatted numbers, which are believed to be addressed to intelligence officers operating in foreign countries. An obvious meme.
Roulette Synchronicity: If you queue for a Duty Roulette, you cannot get a dungeon that has the ilevel surpassing your current ilevel. Many players abused this to get the dungeons they desire, preferably a quick and easy one.
Guildhest parallel universe: Guildhests are... instanced duties like other instanced duties in the game, but less prominent. Some are actually required to progress with the MSQ, but there were no new Guildhests since 2.0. Probably a meme related to that.
Simultaneous Aurum Vale: Aurum Vale is a LV47 dungeon and is notorious because of the jump in difficulty compared to many preceding dungeons. Players suddenly kinda have to know what they are doing and play at least moderately decently, and a small mistake can easily lead to a wipe. Many players express grudge against this particular dungeon. This is probably a meme related to that.
Thank you all if I use any of the threads that you started. Edit 1: Thank you very much for the medal! Edit 2: I was able to clarify a few terms and make some adjustments thanks to the people commenting below.
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A Tale of Two Immortal Bank Robbers: Chapter Five, Part 19.5: The Beginning of the End
Archive Act 1: The Steakhouse Music The Golden Grin was always a prosperous casino, my business was booming with waves of gamblers pouring their life savings into my vault like how tea gets poured into the teacup. I had to settle a few things internally within my management, but nothing new for me, especially for trips back to either Makai or the Lunar Capital. Me, Dust, Kaguya, Mom, and Yumeko were to meet up in a high class steakhouse around Murkywater's airport. Located below a steep hillside and being considered a "restricted area," it was the perfect place for Murkywater, a convenient place to hide stash dark secrets while being off the radar. My bodyguard, an ex-GenSec Elite, was with me in the front seat of my Falcogini. I was going to meet up with 5 at the steakhouse with my bodyguard driving the car back to the Grin. Luckily for me, I had a deal with GenSec where my personal vehicle would be transported anyone under my request, they needed to save face and have financial gain after being embarrassed by my crew. "I'll stop here. Here are the keys, drive back to GenSec and say that I was dropped off in the proper location, got it?" "Yes, Mr.Hoxworth." I parked the car and gave the keys to my bodyguard. Then, then started driving off to to the airport so that he can park this thing back in Vegas. Loyal guy I must say, does my requests without asking questions. No matter how questionable the circumstances are. Now to wait for Dust, Kaguya, Mom, and Yumeko. For whatever reason, they didn't have transportation, so I paid Twitch to pick them up with his van and promised to let him eat dinner with us, I supposed it was the least I could do to keep him as a reliable getaway. After smoking a cigarette outside in the smoking area, the 5 of them arrived. I pressured Dust and Kaguya to look a "little different" as I don't need to answer stupid questions from any 'heroes.' My mother and Yumeko were fine, since none of the bastards could of knew anything about Makai. After properly introducing the 5 of us to Twitch, the 6 of us walked in the steakout. The employee at the front had to write down our names due to "company policy" and that nonsense. Knowing 2 of them were wanted fugitives, I gave them these names in order, from me, Mom, Yumeko, Dust, Kaguya, and Twitch, respectively.
My status as the owner of the most prosperous casino on Earth made the employee's eyes shine brighter than that one time where Sariel pulled a mean joke on me and said I was locked up in Heaven. I'm still going to get her for that. Cheeky bastard. "I-it's been an honor serving you. M-Mr.Hoxworth. May I get a trip to your casino to gamble or something? This job is pretty dead end..." I just looked away and smiled, it was stressful living a quad life as a casino tycoon, bank robber, Lunarian prince, and demon lord. Now my mother and older sister were interested in the human world, as it's been something they've taken a interest in ever since that failed tour agency. And with my return, they wanted to see what I've accomplished in the human world and learn my experienced. I knew what I wanted, a ribeye steak with mashed potatoes and loaded cauliflower, along with their finest beer. Mom and Yumeko were confused on what they wanted, so I told them that I can cover them, I mean I've seen Yumeko cook before, I can identify exactly what would satisfy them. Twitch was asking if this dinner would cut his overall payment, knowing that he's important for the plan and wanting to be on his good side, I promised him that it wouldn't and that this would be a professional courtesy. After settling that with him, he ordered steak burger, fries, steamed vegetables, and a Coke. I was about to taunt him about stealing his fries and saying that's the payment, but not in front of my mom. That's embarrassing. Kaguya and Dust ordered the same steak and beverage, being sirloin, and sake. I mean I like sake, but it wasn't made by the Lunarians or Eirin so I just ditched it for an all-time favorite Earthly drink of mine, being some proper tea. For the side, Dust got broccoli, and Kaguya got a loaded potato. After finishing my meal, I went outside to the smoking area, checked for eavesdroppers, took out my phone, and called Dallas, he was going to be needed soon to transport all the youkai and whoever Murkywater was keeping hostage, "Hey Nathan... it's James. You think you could sail in your yacht around Oregon?" "Sure buddy, I missed seeing us 4 together. Me, Nicolas, Wolf, and you. Like old times. Say... how's the Grin, I heard you've been making massive profits. You doing OK over there?" "Yep, I fucking am. Anyways, be seeing you Dallas." "Farewell, Hoxton." Dallas was the first of many calls I had to make, now I gotta call Bile, since he would be delivering Twitch to Dallas' yacht, and being part of multiple escape plans I had for Hell's Island. Either we get out through plane, yacht, or multiple helicopter extractions. After discussing what the helicopter might need to do, I finished my call with Bile, it was time to make one final one with Locke before the airport raid. "Heyo, Locke." "Ahh, Hoxton, you chop. You want to know more about the Murkywater operations, yes? Fo' sho! Hey listen, I heard that their final 2 planes, similar to the one back in the Birth of Sky Job that I smuggled you onto... they're leaving from that airport I told you about, with their final place being Hell's Island. Now I couldn't get exact details, but those dwankie bastards have made some upgrades from last time. This one is for Bain... yeah?" "Yeah Locke, this one is for Bain, we owe him one... anyways, I'll be seeing you on the Medic Bag..." "Anyways... it seems that those Murky Bastards are losing. If you think you got a little bit more lead in your pencil and wanted to fu-" "Locke, shut up! My mom is going outside, gotta hang up." My mom walked outside and asked who I was talking to. I just replied that it was an old friend of mine. Now she was uncomfortable knowing what she had to do. After all, ever since Mystic Square, she has been completely reluctant to use her full power. But I had to keep persuading her that this one was for Alice. I know how that would fuck with her psyche, but I wanted to send GenSec and Murkywater a message that they were fucked, and that she would die for Alice. After talking to Mom a little more and hanging up on Locke, the waiter responsible for our food gave us the bill and I paid up. They offered desserts and I could easily pay for that, but those 5 were done, it was pretty cheap all things considered. We were ready to take on Murkywater's last stand. Twitch had stashed Kaguya and Dust's weapons in his van, while my stuff was located in a pocket dimension. We're finishing this war my first crew started with Murkywater, and there's nothing they can do about it... Us 6 went in the van, Twitch was obviously driving, I called shotgun, and everyone else could suffer in the back. Not my problem. This was it, if my first crew couldn't put the final nail in Murkywater's coffin, then this crew will. Act 2: Murky Airport Music "Hey Twitch, thanks for doing this for us." "No problem, man. Hey, I'm supposed to go to a helicopter, right? I'm supposed to meet up with a guy named Bile?" "Yeah... tell him that Hoxton sent you. Enjoy your free stay on a luxury yacht." "I'm going to miss driving this baby for a bit. My beautiful hunk of metal." We took our gear and got off this hillside above this dirty Murkywater den. Those bastards took my sister, my boss. Now I will take them. I don't care who's responsible, whether those Kataru bastards have returned or not, it's the beginning of the end for them, the final crackdown. I grabbed an old friend of mine, my M1A SOCOM 16, my best friend since the first Green Bridge job, sniping coppers across that gauntlet. Wielding my silenced Bernetti and my akimbo Glock 18s. The plan was for me to blow off any heads of camping pigs on the control tower while the 4 others storm the place. I don't know how Mom will feel about doing what I have planned, not after what happened last time, but she would do anything for Alice's safety... Sliding down the hill, I drew my silenced pistol and shot a Murkywater guard in the back of the head. I know tripping any alarms, even for a brief second will cause the cops to come assault us, and with their firing advantage up in that control tower, I need to take that over. Hearing the guard barely breathing, I snapped his neck and threw him in a dumpster, leaving a small blood trail behind, I only have minutes now before some rent-a-soldier gets suspicious and raises the alarm. Good thing my 6th sense detected nobody around the control tower. It was time to climb a tower! I grew 6 wings and began scaling the tower, while I could just fly us quickly, I also run the risk of letting someone hear me, at least with climbing, I just need to hide in the shadows and let my wings do the work. I had other tricks, but I forgot to plan for those, and I rather not risk failing because something sounds or even is easier. Cutting open the window with my wings, I turned intangible and slit the throat of all the guards and eye of the cameras with my wings. I could grow as many as I desired to, but 6 felt just right. I took whatever equipment they had to make an improvised rope or chain or something of that nature, using their handcuffs and other equipment, I chained the door together. Salvaging whatever I could use on the Hell's Island raid, I signaled the 4 to go... 2 hangers. 2 planes. With my rifle in hand, and a happy trigger finger, it was time to have some fun again. Let's do this! Dust's Perspective Now Music Something in my body feels odd, like it wants to jump out, but it knows that now is not the time. For us 4, we understand we need to secure the airport to leave. I don't know exactly what Hoxton was saying outside the steakhouse, but he probably knows what he's doing. After all, he's one of the most notorious members of his gang. I heard multiple back-to-back gunshots and a guy yelling "Sound the alarm, we got enemy snipers!" That was a signal for us to rush in and go in guns a-blazing, but it was just me, Yumeko, and Kaguya that was storming the hangar. For Shinki... I saw 6 white wings sprouting out her back, but she wasn't flying, or doing anything... what the Hell was she doing? Hearing the sirens and desperation of Murkywater. Something felt bad after sliding down the hill into cover, I heard, "ALRIGHT!!! The turrets are about to be here any minute, time to turn this around!" over a megaphone. I didn't want to look behind me, maybe Shinki had a death wish, maybe she had something else in mind. It didn't matter, this was Hoxton's mother, and knowing Hox's capabilities, she probably has her own surprises. Taking my Tempest-21s, I stormed the first hanger with Kaguya. Popping Murkies with my wife, we make a good team, but above all, a good couple. Yumeko went alone to Hangar 2 by herself. I peeked around a corner and unloaded, Kaguya leapt over me and possibly decapitated a few guards. My ammo was running dry, and I reloaded. I then heard the bulletstorm trying to force Kaguya out of cover. I saw a distortion in front of me. Yumeko, that's her, right? I hope so. We saw her running through, turning intangible into a green outline the split second a bullet would of hit her. The guards were yelling things such as, "THIS IS A COLOSSAL GOATFUCK!" and "Who the fuck are these guys, ex-military?!!" Since the guards were focused on Yumeko, with Hoxton laughing his ass off at everyone who tried to hide behind a van or something. I used my small time window with Yumeko taking them on, I inspected the Murky hardware. They had things that I could sell at a healthy profit. Unmarked weaponry, with an excess of battle rifles, specifically Eagle Heavies along with 7.62x51 rounds, Jackals with .45 ACP, and so much more. I think Hoxton would love the spare 7.62x51 with his M308, as he's been doing some great work as a sniper. I started bagging up the things that I could steal for myself and sell at a healthy price and smuggled it onto the plane. Checking for Murkywater PMCs in the plane, I realized that we might need them alive, so I called over Kaguya and we intentionally crippled anyone else remaining inside. It seemed that Hox knew exactly that they were starting their preparations for leaving. How deep does this guy's connections go? Taking their handcuffs, me and Kaguya chained them together. "We'll play with these soon~ but for now, we gotta get everyone off Hell's Island." I went outside and it seemed that Yumeko is standing down the SWAT Van turrets, red lasers and guns were pointed at her and started firing, but Shinki showed up and took it all. Us 3 took cover and saw what was there, an army of GenSec Elites, FBI SWATs, SWAT turrets, and helicopters. What the fuck was she trying to pull off without fighting back? A peace offering? Not with possibly dozens, or even hundreds of armed officers willing to kill us. But her wings started to glow darker, and there I heard her speaking. It was unsettling, especially with demonic presence encompassing us all. "Doing this last time hurt me more than anything... all the pantheon of so-called gods that tried attacking me. Any ungrateful demon from eons past that tried rebelling against their mother in a sad attempt to overthrow her. Nothing will hurt as what I did to my realm before... However... you took Alice and her friends away, and for that, you will pay dearly. You only have seconds to enjoy what is left of your tiny lives." We heard at least millions of rounds being fired from all the turrets, JP36s, Jackals, M1014s, CAR-4s, R870s, and whatever GenSec and the FBI had up their sleeve, but it was useless against her, no bullet holes, no flinching, no reaction. Just a very pissed off Shinki. We all watched as Shinki unleashed her wrath onto the cops. As fires raged throughout the improvised wall of cops, SWAT Vans, and helicopters, I heard the screams. The explosions, the wreckage, all of that shocked us with the pure violence that was displayed in front of our very eyes. Back at San Martin, we were shocked at what Sariel did, but Shinki. Holy shit, we're glad she's on our side! There were lasers that appeared to be unmaking anything it touches, spikes that would pierce through cop and vehicle alike before impaling themselves into something, and snake creatures cleaning up the wreckage. I took this time to steal more of Murkywater's loot for myself as Shinki was destroying everything. I though to myself, Wait... if she's indiscriminately firing at them, then how are we not getting hit? Then I saw it, Hoxton was using his magic and his hands were starting to shake. He was taking the full force of Shinki's wrath! I saw that he was approaching us and was a bit tired. "Alright you wankers... don't fucking tell my Mom that my hands were broken in order to protect you from god's fucking wrath. She still has flashbacks from that shite back in Mystic Square, don't need that to be the first thing in her mind, got it?" Hoxton took out one of his first aid kits and found a gauze, he wrapped his hands in a fashion to that of a boxer, while saying. "Heh, I wasn't allowed to do this for bare knuckle brawling. Gonna love to punch some Murkies today. Ha ha ha." After overhearing that the police will retreat with a bigger assault force that would involve the ZEALs, the National Guard, and possibly the entire U.S. military. Remembering what happened the last time the military was going to be called in, we had to go quickly, or else we'll be eating an anti-aircraft gun for desert, or a nuclear missile... "Hey wankers... get prepared, I'm going to do something." Hoxton's Last Word: Makai's Rebirth ~ Apocalyptic Undoing "I can't hold on to this for too long... fuck. I turned this place into a part of Makai temporarily... dimensional barrier confusing the pigs. JUST FUCKING GO!!!" The sky turned even darker than the night sky we were under, it was so beautiful in it's own way, it was feeling like a demonic reflection of this world in many ways... maybe I should take the rest of Eientei to Makai for vacation, I know the Buddhist monk was sealed there and she thought it was a nice place. Going back onto the plane, with all their equipment smuggled, I asked Yumeko for a flaming sword and interrogated a few of them. After some resistance, which was short-lived as Hoxton broke their bones with each hit, we found the pilots, and had to do lots of persuading to get Shinki to possess them. "I didn't want to do this... there's a reason I left. Oh well... this one is for Alice." Shinki then possessed them, forcing them to start flying, I had an idea to make an entrance to Hell's Island. Now I still wanted my beautiful firearms to sell, and maybe this idea might have them burn up in flames. But... this is for Gensokyo. I went on the plane with everyone else behind me. Shinki completely took over the souls of the pilots and and we were starting to fly out the airport. I saw Yumeko giving Kaguya one of her flaming swords. I felt that Hoxton's Last Word started to end and it finished with a demonic storm. I heard the sirens and ultimatums over a radio. Now, it would be the best time to go. Few minutes later, in the sky... "That's right, we're getting out by a yacht. Don't worry, I know the guy who owns that boat. But first, we better make sure Hell's Island is forever destroyed... You're still worried about my hands... aren't you? Well I'll just tell you something, I can't be as trigger happy as I usually am, still doesn't mean I won't be able to tear a Murk in 2." "Hoxton... I feel strange, like something will happen. You know what's going on?" "Nope, but it's something good, I know that much. Anyways... I'm seeing if these twats have any good movies, if they don't, then I'm throwing them out the plane. It's not like they can track it back to u-" "Hox... we still need them to blackmail Murky-" "They have the entirety of Gensokyo in there, what fucking blackmail? These guys are the lowest of the low in Murkywater's army. Anyways, I'm watching a fucking movie with my mom." Then, I left and took cupcakes from a refrigerator, grabbing 2 chairs at a table and eating them with Kaguya, we know what's happening next. We would ask Hoxton to call in the Lunarians, but Kaguya doesn't want to go back... regardless, this will be our tale against Murkywater, A Tale of Two Immortal Bank Robbers. To be continued in Part 20 (Not by me)...
Good luck today guys, hope everyone makes some tendies
Edit 8:30PM Thanks for the love and awards guys, hope everyone ended the week off positive, enjoy your weekend.
Of note for Airlines (LUV, DAL, AAL, UAL), the Airlines for Americas trade association says the industry needs “immediate financial assistance” to protect the 11mln jobs it represents. Of note for Banks (JPM, C, MS, BAC, GS), the Fed is encouraged by a notable increase in discount window borrowing as banks show a willingness to use the window as a funding source to support the flow of credit to households and businesses. Of note for Car Rental Services (HTZ, CAR), both Hertz and Avis Budget Corp have requested aid from the US government.
Apple Inc. (AAPL) supply chain is reportedly still facing supply disruptions even as China recovers due to factory closures of suppliers in Malaysia. Elsewhere, it has limited the number of purchases on its iPhones to two per customer in the US and China, according to Canalys. Boeing Company (BA) is reportedly leaning towards a temporary halt of operations at its twin-aisle jetliner factories due to the spread of the coronavirus, according to people familiar with the matter, in a similar move to Airbus (AIR FP). Johnson & Johnson (JNJ) Global Supply Chain Officer Wengel announced its supply chain is currently holding steady and meeting patient needs. Walmart (WMT) announced it is planning to give special cash bonuses for hourly associates for their work during the current conditions with full-time associates receiving USD 300 and part-time associates receiving USD 150, which will equate to USD 365mln. WMT is to also accelerate its next bonus for store, club and supply chain associates which will equate to USD 180mln, overall it will equate to USD 550mln, the co. says. WMT is to also hire over 150k hourly employees as the number of shoppers increases.
Amazon.com Inc. (AMZN)– Some sellers state its decision to stop receiving non-essential inventory in response to the coronavirus pandemic could limit sales they need to make payments on its loans from Amazon. Tesla (TSLA) announced it decided to temporarily suspend production at its Fremont, California factory and NY Factory after March 23rd. Elsewhere, CEO Musk announced his factories are working on ventilators to address a potential shortage. United Continental Holdings (UAL) – Apollo Global Management (APO) has reportedly purchased part of the airlines USD 2bln loan from a group of banks, according to people familiar with the matter.
Accenture plc (ACN) had its PT cut at a number of brokers, however, they were positive on its ability to continue through the coronavirus crisis. AFLAC Inc (AFL) American Family Life Assurance of Columbus and New York agreed to acquire Zurich North America's US corporate Life and Pensions. AFL expects the acquisition to be dilutive to 2020 adj. EPS by USD 0.02 to 0.03. Altria Group Inc (MO) announced it is temporarily suspending operations at its Richmond manufacturing center. Anthem Inc. (ANTM) announced it is offering up to 80 hours of paid emergency leave for qualifying needs, including if associates are experiencing coronavirus symptoms or for caring for young children whose school has been closed. AT&T Inc. (T) announced it has cancelled is accelerates share repurchase programme of USD 4bln worth of stock, noting the impact of the coronavirus could be material although it cannot currently estimate the impact onto its financial or operational results. Bank of America Corp (BAC) announced it is offering additional support for its consumer and small business clients in response to the coronavirus, where clients can request funds including overdraft fees, non-sufficient funds fees, and monthly maintenance fees through deposit accounts. Many customers can also request to defer any payments. Carnival Corp. (CCL) preliminary Q1 20 (USD): EPS 0.22 (exp. 0.27), revenue 4.8bln (exp. 4.66bln); coronavirus resulted in a net loss of 0.23/shr. Cintas Corporation (CTAS) Q3 20 (USD): Adj. EPS 2.16 (exp. 2.02), revenue 1.81bln (exp. 1.8bln), gross margin 45.5% (exp. 45.7%, prev. 44.9% Y/Y); announced it is not providing guidance for Q4 20 and it is suspending FY20 guidance due to uncertainty surrounding the coronavirus. Coty, Inc (COTY) provided an update on the current situation: Expects Q3 20 revenue to fall approximately 20% like for like, with a meaningful impact on profit, it has also withdrawn FY20 guidance. It is recommending to the board that shareholders be given the option to receive up to 100% of their quarterly dividend in kind for the coming two quarters. Its largest shareholder JAB decided to fully repay the loan it used to finance the tender offer in 2019. It is taking initiatives to manufacture hand sanitizer. Notes activations on Amazon have seen US sales nearly double in recent weeks, as well as launching the Kylie skin-care Europe in upcoming weeks; it is also preparing for increased demand post coronavirus. Danaher Corp. (DHR) announced the US FTC is on board with the acquisition of General Electric’s (GE) Life Sciences Biopharma Business. The closing of the deal is still subject to customary closing conditions as announced in the agreement, but DHR expects the deal to close on March 31st, 2020. Ford Motor (F) announced it has plans to suspend production in Argentina and Brazil starting next week due to the coronavirus. Kohl's Corp. (KSS) announced it is to close its stores nationwide through to at least April 1st, although customers will still be able to shop on its App. It also withdrew guidance for Q1 and FY20. Mylan N.V. (MYL) announced it is increasing production of its malaria drug for potential use to combat the coronavirus. Occidental Petroleum (OXY) is reportedly planning on naming its former CEO Stephen Chazen as its new chairman as it tries to improve amid weak demand and activism from Carl Icahn, according to WSJ citing people familiar with the matter. Sysco Corp. (SYY) announced it will donate 2.5mln meals over the next four weeks as part of its response strategy to help against COVID-19. Elsewhere, it has withdrawn its three-year plan guidance due to the impact from the coronavirus. Tiffany & Co. (TIF) Q4 19 (USD): Adj. EPS 1.80 (exp. 1.77), revenue 1.4bln (exp. 1.36bln); SSS +3%, SSS Ex-Hong Kong +5%, Gross Margin 63.3% (Prev. Y/Y 63.8%). Announced it will not be issuing FY20 guidance due to the pending merger with LVMH
Crowdstrike (CRWD) Q4 19 (USD): Adj. EPS -0.02 (exp. -0.08), Revenue 152mln (exp. 137mln); FY21 Adj. EPS view -0.14 to -0.10 (exp. -0.18), revenue view 723-733mln (exp. 685mln) Samsung (SSNLF) has reportedly been hit hard by Vietnam’s travel restrictions from South Korea, fueling concerns its Galaxy Note smartphones will fall behind schedule in its largest manufacturing hub outside South Korea Teva (TEVA) announced it will be donating over 6mln doses of hydroxychloroquine sulfate tablets across the US to meet the urgent demand for the medicine as an investigational target to treat the coronavirus.
Additional US Equity Stories
Of note for casino names (MGM, CZR, WYNN, MLCO); Macau has halved its 2020 gaming revenue forecast due to the coronavirus and predicts a 56% fall from previous year to USD 16bln. US Steel (X) Q1 20 (USD): Adj. EPS view -0.80 (exp. -0.84), EBITDA 30mln. Coca Cola (KO) does not expect to meet its FY20 guidance, although does not foresee any near-term interruptions to its concentrate or beverage-based production. Meanwhile, it had its PT lowered at Deutsche Bank to USD 53/shr from USD 64/shr, although the desk reiterated its long-term buy rating. Ross Stores (ROST) announced it is to temporarilty close all of its stores throughout the US due to the coronavirus. Dollar Tree (DLTR) announced it is hiring 25,000 associates (both full and part time) to help across its stores in the US. Synaptics Inc. (SYNA) downgraded to Underweight from Neutral at JP Morgan Colgate Palmolive (CL) upgraded to Buy from Neutral at BofA Accenture (CAN) upgraded to Buy from Neutral at MoffettNathansonMonster Beverage
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